When soul meets body

“Come on babe, we need to get closer! It looks like there’s a gap ahead.”

We pushed through the crowd and finally got within ear-bleeding distance of the stage. We arrived at the gap we had seen from some ways away, and were met with a small pond in the center of the concert ground. I guess we hadn’t added two and two when we went to this concert on a beach, and heard, almost incessantly along the way that, “the lake was up.”

We had become one with the lake.

65197096_159513941754770_6094586745271158401_nThe evening was a Thursday in June and my partner and I had just seen one of my favourite bands, Death Cab for Cutie. Death Cab found their fame in the mid-2000’s, a time which I was unsurprisingly in high school. Why unsurprising?

The spiritual relationship between a person and music is difficult to put into words. Music, for most of us, represents something transcendent, the simultaneous embodiment and understanding of our soul by vocalist and band. Music makes us feel connected and understood, not only by the artists standing before us, but by each other. Some of the closest friendships and bonds have formed through collective belting of the latest punk song on the fringes of a bloody mosh pit. Somehow, you arrive at the conclusion that, this person gets me, based purely on the fact that they also didn’t mess up the end of, “Northern Lights.”

The point is, music, for many of us, represents identity, on an existential level, and our sense of identity begins to solidify as a teenager. Not a coincidence I love crappy mid-2000’s punk and emo, my father loves Deep Purple, and his father some old guy on a scratchy microphone.

The role of music in expression cannot be understated. Whether it’s singing, “What’s My Age Again?” in your 2001 Corolla with your friends, or tearfully singing, “Always,” to yourself in the shower, music allows us to understand, express, and manage our own emotions to a higher degree.

62021206_213464446295848_7931776062685125866_nOn a primitive level, we were built for this. The part of the brain that understands music is actually completely separate from the part of the brain that controls language. There are types of strokes where people who cannot communicate through speech find success in communicating through music. Late stage Alzheimer’s can often preserve the music centre, long after language has been coldly taken away.

This part of the brain also develops earlier in human development than the language centre. Instead of a chicken/egg phenomenon, the answer here is clear. Music came first! This may be why babies coos in musical tunes, long before they tell you, “give me that food!” The point being music, in humans, gets at something primal, ancient, and fundamental to our existence.

Do you have a favourite band or song that seems to bee your go to during times of happiness or sadness? Leave it in the comments!

Dr. Travis Barron is a resident physician in Toronto, Canada.

Goodbye Psychiatry, I’ll miss you!

Getting off of the 501 streetcar, I realized this may be the last time I make this trip for a while. I soaked in the Ossington Avenue intersection, after almost being ran-over by a passing car (ah, the familiar feeling), and walked towards the doors of the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH). As I peered at the campus, my sense of loss was accented with fondness and the strange intervention of excitement at what is to come.

I had officially departed the Department of Psychiatry, and joined the Department of Family Medicine.

19623600_1882847292039496_9104144131264872448_nI know what you’re thinking. This guy with the mental health blog, leaving psychiatry? That doesn’t make any sense!

All I can say is, we all have our own journey.

During my time in psychiatry, I worked in a variety of hospitals across the city of Toronto, CAMH being among the most memorable. I had the privilege of working with some of the world’s – that’s rights, world’s – leading experts in mental health. It was truly an honour. Psychiatry has given me more than I can possibly express through the lens of a blog post. I know that because of the Department, I am a better person, and a better physician.

So what gives? I just wasn’t happy.

The supervisors and colleagues I have worked with in psychiatry have done, and will continue to do, amazing work and help heal some of society’s most marginalized. For myself, the opportunity to see a broader variety of people, and be more of a utilitarian with my skills, as opposed to a specialist, has come to reveal itself as important to my happiness. I remain passionate about mental  health. Every single one of us is touched by mental illness, in some way. There isn’t a patient that presents to a physician anywhere in this country who hasn’t been influenced by their own psychology.

_DSC3796The absence of a mental  health system in Ontario has played a role in this difficult decision. The number of times I have recommended CBT to someone, knowing their options are 1-2 year waitlist or out-of-pocket, is heartbreaking. Discharging severely unwell people, with attenuated psychotic symptoms, or severe drug addiction, to the street, because the waitlists for supported mental health housing can be almost a decade, is gut wrenching.

This is no fault of my amazing colleagues, who at this very moment continue to fight and advocate for the patients for which they care. Malignant neglect by the government’s of this province – and frankly, the country – have resulted in a patchy system with too many holes.

It’s not all bad – change is coming. The programs CAMH continues to create and advocate for are world-class and industry-leading. But as I am sure many of you know, there remains a way to go.

Which for me, means it’s time to move on. And I’m excited. For new beginnings. For a change of pace. For brighter days. And for my General Surgery rotation (just kidding, terrified about that one!)

Goodbye Psychiatry, I’ll miss you.

Dr. Travis Barron is a resident physician in Toronto, Canada.

The first patient I cured

“So ya, that’s everything that’s going on…”

There was a long silence before I responded, “that fucking sucks, it really does.”

“You’re telling me…”

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I had just started as a resident doctor at a hospital in Ontario, Canada, and was working with one of the first patients I would ever follow in my outpatient psychiatry clinic. I met a woman, Ms. G, who worked as an engineer. Ms. G had been referred to the clinic by her family physician (known as a general practitioner outside of Canada) for an assessment of low mood and sleep disturbance.

As these things go, you get some information in advance of the consultation from the referral form. Ms. G had never been involved with the mental health system. She was in her 50’s, married, and had three adult children. She was also not presently taking any medications.

I’m excited. A blank slate, a canvas ready to be worked with. So much potential. I quickly opened my copy of Prescriber’s Guide, and reviewed the starting doses for all of the basic antidepressants. Would today be my first fluoxetine start? Sertraline? Maybe even escitalopram?

The consultation time quickly arrived and I stepped out into the waiting area to ask for my client. Ms. G was average height, was wearing business attire, and had been using her cellphone immediately prior to my arrival, which she peered at through a pair of thin, golden reading glasses. Ms. G shook my hand and we walked together to the office.

Ms. G and I spoke for almost an hour. She detailed her struggles with low mood, decreased enjoyment in life, poor sleep, poor appetite, and difficulties concentrating. There were profound feelings of guilt and worthlessness. Her mental status exam was actually relatively benign. You were certainly given the impression that this person was tired and frustrated, but you certainly weren’t put in mind of someone in the throes of a severe depressive episode. With this information, I was able to determine that Ms. G met criteria for a Major Depressive Episode, mild/moderate severity.

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Ms. G also owned her house. Her and her husband had just renovated the home, and it was beautiful. That was before the flood. A month prior, Ms. G’s home was the most recent victim in a spat of Toronto city floodings. Everything in the basement was destroyed. A lot of the renovations, which included the downstairs bar and family room, had not even been properly enjoyed yet, only to be destroyed by the flood. Even worse, Ms. G’s home was the only one on her block to sustain significant damage.

“that fucking sucks, it does.”

“You’re telling me…”

Our consultation wrapped up and it was time to discuss the impression, plan, and treatment with Ms. G.

“Based on everything we have discussed, your presentation is not suggestive of any mental illness.” This peaked her interest.

“Then how do you explain what’s going on? I can’t sleep, I feel awful all the time…”

“Well, you have a lot on the go. You just renovated your home, spent tens of thousands of dollars, and now you’re faced with the flood. In a way, you’re re-traumatized every single day when you get home from work and have to be reminded of the damage, since the repairs are yet to be done. It makes sense to feel this way.”

Ms. G liked my opinion and asked me what she could do to feel better. I told her to hang in there, and to continue working on the repairs. I told her my suspicion was that she would feel a lot better once the repairs were taken care of. She would be able to move on.

I also told her I did not expect medications to have any effect on her mood. This wasn’t depression. This was an exaggerated form of a really, really bad day. I did offer a short supply of some sleeping pills which she gladly accepted.

I also told her I wanted to see her again, and I followed up with her twice over the coming months. At the second follow up, she was smiling, and I noticed the bags under her eyes were quite less pronounced.

“Good morning doctor.”

“Good morning Ms. G. How are you today?”

“I’m great – you were right!”

“I tend to be,” I said as I laughed. “But just so we’re on the same page, what are you referring to?”

“It’s finally over.”

“The renovations?”

“Yes!”

“I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks for everything, doc! You cured me.”

Editor’s note: I didn’t cure this woman – as these things often go, time in many ways heals most wounds. This was the natural history of getting through psychological distress following something like a home flooding. This is not what I would expect to happen with true and blue depression, which often needs a combination of therapy and medications.


Ms. G met criteria for depression; that does not mean she has depression. You can meet criteria for any number of mental illnesses, and it is up to you and your doctor to synthesize all of the available information, and to interpret it in the way that makes the most sense.

 

Dr. Travis Barron is a resident physician in Toronto, Canada.

 

Depression-Go-Round

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I’m not feeling great today, maybe I should skip the party…

“Hey, Jen! Are you coming?”

“No, I think I’m going to stay in.”

Later that night, you find yourself thinking, I’m such a failure, I’m so useless, I couldn’t even get to the party… And I’m not any kind of company right now…

When you have depression, it is absolutely exhausting. A big part of that is because it seems like this sick, endless loop. Like you’ve been cursed to listen to your least favourite song on repeat for the remainder of eternity.

People with depression often become progressively withdrawn over the course of their illness. Often times, people with depression will skip events because they feel like they are incapable of having fun. They may worry about ruining others’ evenings. In the immediacy, this strategy seems like the only tolerable option. In the long-term, social withdrawal, caused by depression, also exacerbates depression, which in turn leads to further avoidance.

These cycles of thinking and behaviour are well recognized in the field of psychiatry, and we utilize our understanding of this phenomenon to guide our treatments.

In broad strokes, psychiatric illnesses have two main modalities of treatment – medication and therapy based. They often work best in conjunction with each other. Today, I’ll be discussing cyclical behaviours and the role of cognitive behavioural therapy in the treatment of depression.

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a manualized, evidence-based treatment for anxiety and depression. What does manualized mean? Don’t think of a guy on his couch discussing his relationship with his mother; that would be an open-ended psychotherapy, such as psychodynamic therapy. CBT is very specific, with worksheets, homework, and goals that are worked on by you and your therapist over a course of 2-4 months.

tfbCBT relies on a principle – that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are all related and that they inform each other. And this relationship is a two way street, Your thoughts inform your actions, and your actions inform your thoughts. Your feelings inform your actions and behaviours, and vice versa. I could go on.

In CBT, you and your therapist will work together to address all three of these elements simultaneously. Thought records and your time with your therapist are used to explore thoughts and feelings, and to understand how behaviours may have an impact on how you feel. Remember the cycle of depression and social avoidance.

tfbtOver time, you and your therapist hope to achieve cognitive restructuring – literally a change in the way you think. Instead of thinking, “I’m too tired for that party,” you might find yourself thinking, “I’m tired and I should go to the party for at least a few minutes – it will probably be fun.” Cognitive restructuring takes time, and considerable investment. It can be considered the “top down approach,” because it focuses on thoughts/the brain/the “top.”

A big – and underappreciated – aspect of CBT is behavioural activation, or the “bottom up approach.” When you’re depressed, and have been withdrawn for some time, it literally becomes difficult to have a positive thought. It also becomes easier to have negative thoughts, and you lose enjoyment in things you had previously found enjoyable. This isn’t just partying and socializing, but also things like laundry, and brushing your teeth, things that previously resulted in satisfaction but now seem insurmountable.

tfbbBehavioural activation acknowledges this disconnect and works to encourage people to do things anyway, despite the sense that no enjoyment or satisfaction will be wrought. Behavioural activation “kick starts” our brain, and gives us the ability to feel positive about things again. This can in turn make the cognitive restructuring arm of CBT a little easier, and before you know it, the cycle is working in the opposite direction, and improving your mood.

When I work on behavioural activation with patients, we often start with simple things such as brushing your teeth, or making your bed in the morning. We escalate the therapy progressively, and before you know it, the most out of reach goals are within the patients grasp.

I know when I started my residency, therapy seemed like a bit of an enigma. Now, I have a bit of an understanding, and it has empowered me. I hope I have been able to empower you!

 

Dr. Travis Barron is a resident physician in Toronto, Canada.

 

There’s a microchip in my head

“Hi, welcome to our emergency room, what brings you in today?”

“I need to see a surgeon.”

“And why is that?”

“I need to get the microchips implanted in my brain removed.”

What is the role of a psychiatrist? Depending on who you ask, you’re likely to get many different answers. To help people. To make me feel better. To push pills. Population control. It’s a question I myself have struggled with time and time again throughout my career, and it would be a lie to tell you I knew the answer perfectly. In reality, a psychiatrist wears many hats, and many psychiatrists view their own roles quite differently, which is reflected in how they practice.

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I was a wee-medical student in Ontario, Canada, working in the emergency department one summer. We had a gentleman come in and request to see a surgeon to remove microchips from his brain that he felt were responsible for broadcasting his thoughts to the public.

In Canada, when you go to the emergency department, the first physician to assess you would be an Emergency Medicine physician. The doctor I worked with that day, Dr. S, asked me to go see the gentleman.

When I met him, he was tall, skinny (certainly not emaciated), and appeared a little anxious. He was far from the most distressed patient I had ever met and was not agitated whatsoever. I asked him the usual battery of questions and he denied being suicidal or wanting to harm anyone. He simply kept coming back to these microchips. “When is the surgeon going to come?”

I finished my assessment and thanked the gentleman for his time. I explained to him that in my experience, what he was experiencing could be best explained by a condition called psychosis. And good news! Psychosis is a condition that responds to medicine, and we are able to arrange for him to see a psychiatrist today if he is interested.

“When is the surgeon going to come?”

I excitedly headed towards the nursing station to review with my supervisor, confident that my diagnosis was correct and that my plan was solid.

“So, what do you think?”

“I think the most likely diagnosis is psychosis, probably secondary to schizophrenia based on his presentation.”

“Excellent, I agree. What would you like to do?”

“Well, I think we should consult psychiatry, send some antipsychotic labs, call his fam-“

“Wait a minute. Does he want to see a psychiatrist?”

“No, he thinks he needs to see a surgeon.”

My preceptor smiled and asked for my reasoning for treatment, and I explained that the guy is psychotic, he needs treatment. She disagreed.

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The patient was psychotic, this is true. He was not suicidal, he wasn’t violent. He wasn’t agitated, or emaciated. There was no real visible distress – certainly not close to the amount of distress involuntary admission to hospital and coercive treatment causes. And he didn’t want to see a psychiatrist. At the time, I was somewhat mystified at the idea of not treating someone with such profound symptoms that in all likelihood would have been at least somewhat amenable to treatment. I imagined this guy’s life coming together, all his problems solved with my little pill.

Today, I know better.

People are entitled to believe and feel what they want. I have no right to tell you how to feel or what to believe. Is believing you have microchips in your head so different than believing there is someone in the sky that created the earth in seven days? I’m not sure it is. What my job is, is to intervene at moments of risk. You can believe you have microchips in your head – if that becomes so intolerable you feel like you need to kill yourself, it is my duty to intervene and keep people safe. In the absence of risk, as the old adage goes in Newfoundland, more power to ya.

There is of course the argument about treating psychosis when it begins to impact people’s lives, but does not cause an immediate risk. Someone who gradually becomes homeless over time due to functional problems as a result of psychosis, for example. Think the guy talking to himself on the side of the street. Yes, these people would (likely) benefit from antipsychotic treatment, but only when it comes from their own free will. When medications are forced on people, they quit them the first chance they get.

So what is my job as a psychiatrist? To help. To be available. To sometimes intervene and violate free will when there is a risk of harm to someone. But not to tell you what to think, how to feel, or what to believe. That’s your own choice.

 Editor’s Note: We did of course offer this gentleman ample follow up, and he politely refused everything we had to offer. What we find important here is making this gentleman feel safe when he comes to hospital so that when he does need us, he feels safe to come.

Dr. Travis Barron is a resident physician in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Toronto in Toronto, Canada.

Mental illnesses are made up (sort of)

You’ve experienced some swelling in your neck for the last three months and decide to see your doctor.

They do a physical exam and run some tests. At the follow up appointment, they give you the absolute last thing you wanted to hear.

“You have lymphoma.”

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When I started medical school, a memorable preceptor told me that I was about to learn an entirely new language. An understanding of that language, she said, would empower me to become a wonderful physician.

Hodgkin’s lymphoma is an example of a disease. What makes a disease? The presence of a clear, well-defined pathological phenomenon. Cancer is not a disease. And neither is lymphoma. Hodgkin’s lymphoma, however, is closer to the mark. Why does this matter? Because a disease is a very specific entity, and one that is by-and-large understood. It’s specificity allows us to target very specific elements of the disease, to develop treatment. There are (almost) no diseases in psychiatry.

Syndromes, or disorders, are clusters of symptoms that tend to appear together and suggest to the observer (usually a physician) the type of problem which may be going on. For example, someone presenting to an emergency department with swollen legs, shortness of breath, and chest pain, likely has heart failure (a syndrome; heart failure with preserved ejection fraction may be the disease). We have many syndromes in psychiatry. Someone presenting with an inability to get out of bed, tearfulness, and suicidal thoughts, may have depression. Someone who hears voices and believes they are being monitored by the CIA may have psychosis.

So why the disconnect? Because the brain is cool.

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The pathophysiology behind heart failure and lymphoma is relatively clear. This is not the case with mental illness. The human brain is extraordinarily complex, and is not easily studied under the microscope, or in labs with rats. It’s an exciting time in psychiatric research, as the human brain is in many ways considered the final frontier of medicine. For patients and individuals, it’s a frustrating time..

This ambiguity has caused us to rely on describing syndromes, as opposed to clear, well-defined diseases, in our practices. Syndromes, or disorders, can be seen all over psychiatry. Major Depressive Disorder. Generalized Anxiety Disorder. And I could go on.

Why is this important? A syndrome can be the result of a variety of things. Someone with chest pain, swollen legs, and shortness of breath, may also be having a heart attack. Someone presenting as depressed might have depression, bipolar disorder, hypothyroidism, or could be having a regular ol’ bad day. This helps explain why some people respond to medications, and why some do not. Why some people get great help from cognitive behavioural therapy, and others find it a waste of time. Since we’re dealing with a mixing pot of a variety of potential explanations, some trial and error is required as you and your doctor arrive at a suitable treatment. I get almost as frustrated as a patient when we are going through treatment and a medication doesn’t work, or a therapy isn’t suitable. It can be demoralizing to everybody involved. What can help is keeping in mind that that mystery and ambiguity are not unexpected, and are completely normal part of moving through the mental health system.

 

Dr. Travis Barron is a resident physician in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Toronto in Toronto, Canada.

One hundred diagnoses

“You have depression.”

“I think it may be bipolar disorder.”

“Borderline Personality is most likely.”

“Have you ever heard of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder?”

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You’ve been feeling down lately and you decide to see your doctor. They might refer you to a psychiatrist, or choose to diagnose you themselves. You might do this several times over your lifetime, and each time, you get a different answer. You go, “what the fuck?”

It’s a common conundrum.

In psychiatry, we do not have the luxury of many of the tests and tools used by other fields of medicine. In other words, we don’t have the luxury of x-rays and blood tests to aid in the diagnosis of the vast majority of illnesses we work with. What does that mean? As psychiatrists, we rely primarily on our clinical expertise, the histories provided by individuals and their families, mental status exams, and whatever collateral information is available to come to our conclusions.

After we have gathered all of the available information we arrive at a hypothesis, or best guess – don’t worry. We’re usually right! Psychiatric diagnosis is a finicky thing, because I’d be lying to you if I said I, or any other physician, had the ability to understand perfectly the inner workings of your mind and your own personal experience in an hour-long conversation. The point is, people are complicated, and what may appear as depression one day may come to reveal itself as posttraumatic stress disorder on another.

So what’s the point of seeing somebody, if their diagnosis may be fluid? We can help. Working with a mental health professional at times of difficulty can be an important resource, especially when in a publicly funded healthcare system such as Canada’s. Even if your diagnosis may evolve over time, our treatments are often (and usually) pointed in the right direction. The treatment for depression and anxiety are often the same, and the same is true for bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Most importantly, regularly seeing a physician can be a rock during times of turbulence, and I would recommend that to anyone, regardless of diagnosis.

 

Dr. Travis Barron is a resident physician in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Toronto in Toronto, Canada.